tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25748937543042563022011-11-06T11:34:04.198-08:00Real talk... I'm just me... And that's all I'm going to be...duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.comBlogger551100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-43517377364973422492011-02-20T23:16:00.000-08:002011-02-20T23:29:02.071-08:00For the better part of the last few months...<div><br /></div><div>I've been struggling with the idea of being moral...</div><div><br /></div><div>I mean...</div><div><br /></div><div>I understand what it means...</div><div><br /></div><div>And I think that I am a pretty morally sound person...</div><div><br /></div><div>But being that morally sound person...</div><div><br /></div><div>I am having trouble overlooking the lack of morals in those around me...</div><div><br /></div><div>I mean...</div><div><br /></div><div>How can I watch someone mistreat or disrespect someone else and not expect them to pull that shit with me?</div><div><br /></div><div>Or how can I not expect them to be talking shit about me behind my back?</div><div><br /></div><div>Maybe in a sense...</div><div><br /></div><div>Youth has gotten in the way of common sense...</div><div><br /></div><div>But I can't comprehend how you can live your life with complete disrespect for someone else's?</div><div><br /></div><div>You pity the person and yet you continue to wrong them?</div><div><br /></div><div>Makes no sense...</div><div><br /></div><div>I think I have been put in situations like that...</div><div><br /></div><div>And I have done things...</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm human...</div><div><br /></div><div>But at the end of the day I know what I've done is wrong...</div><div><br /></div><div>And I stop...</div><div><br /></div><div>There's no amount of pleasure in the world that is worth going against your own morals...</div><div><br /></div><div>But maybe its my morals that are skewed since there seems to be more of them than me...</div><div><br /></div><div>Morally speaking. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-4351737736497342249?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-17122749950300299402011-02-15T19:42:00.001-08:002011-02-16T10:50:46.854-08:00About two years ago... <div><br /></div><div>I ended up in a mess...</div><div><br /></div><div>Of my own doing...</div><div><br /></div><div>Yes I own that I played a role in its creation...</div><div><br /></div><div>But that's another blog all together...</div><div><br /></div><div>**Redirect**</div><div><br /></div><div>Anywho...</div><div><br /></div><div>Just so happens that to fulfill my graduation requirements...</div><div><br /></div><div>I had to take a Greek and Roman Studies....</div><div><br /></div><div>And as part of that class...</div><div><br /></div><div>We had to read Homers <i>Illiad</i>...</div><div><br /></div><div>Fortunately for me and my fellow classmates...</div><div><br /></div><div>My teacher chose a different route to reading this long ass poem...</div><div><br /></div><div>What my Professor did was break the story down...</div><div><br /></div><div>Cut out all the fluffy unnecessary bull...</div><div><br /></div><div>And got to the simple story about war...</div><div><br /></div><div>And in doing so...</div><div><br /></div><div>He introduced me to the word <i>aristeia...</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div>The term loosely translated mean...</div><div><br /></div><div>Going for ones ultimate glory...</div><div><br /></div><div>By any means necessary...</div><div><br /></div><div>No matter the consequences...</div><div><br /></div><div>Even death...</div><div><br /></div><div>**Back to the mess**</div><div><br /></div><div>Everyday as I sat in class and listened to these men attain <i>aristeia</i>...</div><div><br /></div><div>And a page later...</div><div><br /></div><div>Die...</div><div><br /></div><div>It hit me...</div><div><br /></div><div>There's always a choice...</div><div><br /></div><div>Every one that died seeking this one glorious moment had a choice...</div><div><br /></div><div>Die in glory...</div><div><br /></div><div>Or...</div><div><br /></div><div>Choose peace...</div><div><br /></div><div>And live a...</div><div><br /></div><div>Long...</div><div><br /></div><div>Happy...</div><div><br /></div><div>Life...</div><div><br /></div><div>Ya see...</div><div><br /></div><div>That one moment only lasts about 7 seconds...</div><div><br /></div><div>And then you and it are gone forever...</div><div><br /></div><div>Sure you could live on through that moment...</div><div><br /></div><div>But that moment becomes all that defines you...</div><div><br /></div><div>All you were...</div><div><br /></div><div>Really? </div><div><br /></div><div>Is it worth it?</div><div><br /></div><div>**Lightbulb**</div><div><br /></div><div>Me thought not...</div><div><br /></div><div>So I made my choice...</div><div><br /></div><div>That maybe 2 1/2 minutes of glory would have lasted all of 2 1/2 minutes...</div><div><br /></div><div>And all that would be left of me would be that...</div><div><br /></div><div>Sure I would have taken you down with me...</div><div><br /></div><div>But it was not worth it...</div><div><br /></div><div>That moment would have defined me and nothing else I had done would have mattered...</div><div><br /></div><div>Everything I did before that moment would be erased...</div><div><br /></div><div>And that would be all I was...</div><div><br /></div><div>So...</div><div><br /></div><div>I walked away...</div><div><br /></div><div>And never said a word...</div><div><br /></div><div> I believe in my heart of hearts...</div><div><br /></div><div>That even though it proved to be one of the most difficult tasks of my life so far...</div><div><br /></div><div>I made the right choice...</div><div><br /></div><div>Because at the end of the day...</div><div><br /></div><div>I am remembered for so much more...</div><div><br /></div><div>Because I was so much more...</div><div><br /></div><div>But real talk though...</div><div><br /></div><div>Indeed...</div><div><br /></div><div>Homer saved yo' life.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div> </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-1712274995030029940?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-72573832006922377892011-01-28T20:09:00.000-08:002011-01-28T20:33:35.344-08:00It's just amazing to me...<div><br /></div><div>At the end of the day...</div><div><br /></div><div>What I did...</div><div><br /></div><div>What I did was...</div><div><br /></div><div>I said no... </div><div><br /></div><div>In all my years...</div><div><br /></div><div>I have never gotten so much grief for doing nothing at all...</div><div><br /></div><div>I can't comprehend how at the end of the day...</div><div><br /></div><div>The fact that I didn't do what the rest of the kids were doing...</div><div><br /></div><div>That warrants piss in my corn flakes...?</div><div><br /></div><div>That's just ri-got-damn-diculous!</div><div><br /></div><div>How old are we again?</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm done with this mess I somehow created by doing not a damn thing...</div><div><br /></div><div>I've made my efforts to rectify the situation...</div><div><br /></div><div>But I can only go so much out my own damn way...</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm tired...</div><div><br /></div><div>And at the end of the day...</div><div><br /></div><div>It's not on me...</div><div><br /></div><div>It's on you...</div><div><br /></div><div>So...</div><div><br /></div><div>Sticks and stones may break my bones...</div><div><br /></div><div>But trust...</div><div><br /></div><div>Your bullshit ain't hurting me.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-7257383200692237789?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-20170306761077411342011-01-11T18:29:00.000-08:002011-01-11T18:31:24.220-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana; font-size: 12px; color: rgb(160, 82, 45); -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; ">"Let’s play the blame game, I love you, more<br />Let’s play the blame game for sure.<br /><br />Things used to be, now they not<br />Anything but us is who we are<br />Disguising ourselves as secret lovers<br />We’ve become public enemies<br />We walk away like strangers in the street<br />Gone for eternity<br />We erased one another<br />So far from where we came<br />With so much of everything, how do we leave with nothing<br />Lack of visual empathy equates the meaning of L-O-V-E<br />Hatred and attitude tear us entirely<br /><br />Let’s play the blame game, I love </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana; font-size: 12px; color: rgb(160, 82, 45); -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; ">, more<br />Let’s play the blame game for sure.<br />Let’s call her names, names, I hate you, more.<br />Let’s call her names, names, for sure."</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-2017030676107741134?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-29690274717312048812011-01-08T22:16:00.000-08:002011-01-08T22:53:16.168-08:00<div>Fact is...</div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 3px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 3px; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium; ">"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 3px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 3px; ">At some point in our lives, each of us faces the loss of someone or something dear to us. The grief that follows such a loss can seem unbearable, but grief is actually a healing process. Grief is the emotional suffering we feel after a loss of some kind. The death of a loved one, loss of a limb, even intense disappointment can cause grief. Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross has named five stages of grief people go through following a serious loss. Sometimes people get stuck in one of the first four stages. Their lives can be painful until they move to the fifth stage - acceptance.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 3px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 3px; "><h4><a name="Heading62">Five Stages Of Grief</a></h4><ol><li><a name="Heading63">Denial and Isolation.<br /></a>At first, we tend to deny the loss has taken place, and may withdraw from our usual social contacts. This stage may last a few moments, or longer.</li><li><a name="Heading64">Anger.</a><br />The grieving person may then be furious at the person who inflicted the hurt (even if she's dead), or at the world, for letting it happen. He may be angry with himself for letting the event take place, even if, realistically, nothing could have stopped it.</li><li><a name="Heading65">Bargaining.</a><br />Now the grieving person may make bargains with God, asking, "If I do this, will you take away the loss?"</li><li><a name="Heading66">Depression.</a><br />The person feels numb, although anger and sadness may remain underneath.</li><li><a name="Heading67">Acceptance.</a><br />This is when the anger, sadness and mourning have tapered off. The person simply accepts the reality of the loss."</li></ol></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-2969027471731204881?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-88626408719654949442010-12-29T23:14:00.000-08:002010-12-29T23:26:16.037-08:00So as of late... <div><br /></div><div>I've been taking the time to really just think...</div><div><br /></div><div>I've been looking at different situations and just looking for the lesson...</div><div><br /></div><div>And what I've pulled from things kind of contradicts...</div><div><br /></div><div>I mean one minute I'm all like...</div><div><br /></div><div>Fairytales don't exist...</div><div><br /></div><div>And then the next minute...</div><div><br /></div><div>Dreams come true...</div><div><br /></div><div>Or I'm like...</div><div><br /></div><div>You make your own destiny...</div><div><br /></div><div>Sh*t happens for a reason...</div><div><br /></div><div>Really...</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm just all kinds of fukxed up...</div><div><br /></div><div>I mean I look at other peoples lives and I'm geeeeez...</div><div><br /></div><div>How the hell???</div><div><br /></div><div>Why does everything have an exception?!?!</div><div><br /></div><div>Why can't there be any kind of definitive answers?</div><div><br /></div><div>How can you ever say that you're doing what you're supposed to do?</div><div><br /></div><div>I mean I really used to believe in some type of destiny...</div><div><br /></div><div>But now...</div><div><br /></div><div>I can't say that I do...</div><div><br /></div><div>I can't comprehend how one event connects to the other...</div><div><br /></div><div>Why certain things have to happen?</div><div><br /></div><div>Why is there no definitive lesson?</div><div><br /></div><div>What am I missing? </div><div><br /></div><div>What haven't I learned?</div><div><br /></div><div>I just want something definitive...</div><div><br /></div><div>No more freelance thoughts.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-8862640871965494944?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-56547586143919992942010-12-14T22:51:00.000-08:002010-12-14T23:00:38.293-08:00"I didn't mean to end his life... I know it wasn't right... I can't even sleep at night... Can't get it off my mind... I need to get out of sight... What started out as a simple altercation turned into a real sticky situation... Makes me wanna cry... Cause I didn't mean to hurt him... And I took his heart when... Rum pum pum pum... Man down..."<div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-5654758614391999294?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-65630058536462103012010-11-29T20:41:00.000-08:002010-11-29T20:57:37.156-08:00From that first hit you're hooked...<div><br /></div><div>Ready at all times for that next hit...</div><div><br /></div><div>Searching for that perfect high...</div><div><br /></div><div>But at the end of the day...</div><div><br /></div><div>That perfect high doesn't exist ...</div><div><br /></div><div>It's what many refer to as a "Pipe Dream"...</div><div><br /></div><div>And even though that first hit is pretty damn close...</div><div><br /></div><div>After that first time...</div><div><br /></div><div>It's never the same...</div><div><br /></div><div>Okay now... </div><div><br /></div><div>I have never done drugs...</div><div><br /></div><div>I choose to live above the influence...</div><div><br /></div><div>But I have been an addict...</div><div><br /></div><div>After the first hit...</div><div><br /></div><div>I was hooked...</div><div><br /></div><div>The feeling was unlike anything I ever felt before...</div><div><br /></div><div>I completely lost control...</div><div><br /></div><div>Until finally one day I realized that I had hit rock bottom...</div><div><br /></div><div>I let the "Pipe Dream" completely take over my mind...</div><div><br /></div><div>I lost touch with reality until reality finally found me... </div><div><br /></div><div>But the damage had already been done...</div><div><br /></div><div>And I couldn't even pretend to play the victim...</div><div><br /></div><div>I knew the consequences of my actions...</div><div><br /></div><div>But I kept going back...</div><div><br /></div><div>Hit after hit after hit...</div><div><br /></div><div>Until I finally realized it wasn't real at all...</div><div><br /></div><div>Something completely artificial...</div><div><br /></div><div>But the consequences were not...</div><div><br /></div><div>It's a domino effect that still continues to this day...</div><div><br /></div><div>So I tell this story to caution those on my path...</div><div><br /></div><div>Whether it be drugs or anything else...</div><div><br /></div><div>At the end of the day...</div><div><br /></div><div>It's not worth it to lose yourself...</div><div><br /></div><div>Ya see...</div><div><br /></div><div>Crack Kills...</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-6563005853646210301?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-49660842414018714232010-10-16T17:53:00.000-07:002010-10-16T18:53:30.237-07:00Oh man... It hath been wayyyyyyyyy toooooooo looooooooong!<div><br /></div><div>Hello to my Blog peeps! </div><div><br /></div><div>It has been quite a few months since my last post... So let's go ahead and get to it...</div><div><br /></div><div>I have realized in the last few months that even though I am GREAT.... </div><div><br /></div><div>I am not that GREAT...</div><div><br /></div><div>I am human... </div><div><br /></div><div>Point blank...</div><div><br /></div><div>And ain't not one human perfect!</div><div><br /></div><div>That is for damn sure...</div><div><br /></div><div>I've realized I'm always looking for some profound reason for why people do the things they do but at the end of the day...</div><div><br /></div><div>There is none...</div><div> </div><div>I know I've said this before... </div><div><br /></div><div>But it's the truth...</div><div><br /></div><div>People do things because THEY CAN!!!!!!</div><div><br /></div><div>And as much as we try to control that...</div><div><br /></div><div>We can't....</div><div><br /></div><div>People are not puppets...</div><div><br /></div><div>They don't always do what we want...</div><div><br /></div><div>!!!!!FILTER OFFFFFFFF!!!!!</div><div><br /></div><div>So now that brings me to the real reason I'm writing this post...</div><div><br /></div><div>ERIC MUTHERFREAKIN' ******!!!!!!!!!</div><div><br /></div><div>Yes I am writing this for you princess! ;)</div><div><br /></div><div>I am going to be completely and utterly honest...</div><div><br /></div><div>You my former best friend need to build a bridge and get the hell over IT!</div><div><br /></div><div>Whatever IT is? </div><div><br /></div><div>I have my own theories... </div><div><br /></div><div>But I digress...</div><div><br /></div><div>Back to what I intended to say....</div><div><br /></div><div>As much as I HATE to admit this....</div><div><br /></div><div>You changed my life...</div><div><br /></div><div>Ok now...</div><div><br /></div><div>Pump your breaks...</div><div><br /></div><div>Don't get all excited now...</div><div><br /></div><div>For you are the inspiration behind the "because they can" epiphany....</div><div><br /></div><div>Without the bullshit that you spouted</div><div><br /></div><div>Alwayssssss behind my back...</div><div><br /></div><div>~Whoooosah~</div><div><br /></div><div>I don't think I would have ever figured that out....</div><div><br /></div><div>I mean I never understood why anybody would hurt anybody without a legit reason....</div><div><br /></div><div>I mean I never could have imagined that at the end of the day...</div><div><br /></div><div>The answer was so simple....</div><div><br /></div><div>I mean at the end of the day....</div><div><br /></div><div>You could...</div><div><br /></div><div>So you did...</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm right aren't I?</div><div><br /></div><div>Now... </div><div><br /></div><div>I know I am at fault too....</div><div><br /></div><div>I went back and forth so many times....</div><div><br /></div><div>I was a straight up flip- flopper...</div><div><br /></div><div>And truth be told... </div><div><br /></div><div>I had no idea what was going on...</div><div><br /></div><div>Well not until the proverbial shit hit the fan...</div><div><br /></div><div>But I can't really grasp exactly what happened either...</div><div><br /></div><div>It's just a hot- hit- mess...</div><div><br /></div><div>Any who...</div><div><br /></div><div>I am not that person anymore....</div><div><br /></div><div>And hopefully you aren't either....</div><div><br /></div><div>Hopefully you're duck self took some lessons from that **place** we used to work....</div><div><br /></div><div>And if you didn't pick....</div><div><br /></div><div>I'll share.... :D</div><div><br /></div><div>1. Honesty is the best policy---->When I say this.... I mean.... Seriously dude.... Just tell the damn truth.... You do more damage putting up fronts than you ever could being completely and utterly honest... Don't get me wrong.... I know it's hard.... I still have to catch myself.... But it's necessary... I SWEAR TO YOU---> What's done in the dark is always brought to light.... So turn on the light your damn self.... The people who love you will always accept you.... They may be pissed in the moment... But time heals all wounds....</div><div><br /></div><div>2. Playing a role---> It's wayyyyyy more effort to be a someone other than yourself.... Just don't... </div><div><br /></div><div>3. Because you can... Doesn't mean you should----> I really hope you get this.... It's not worth it! I swear to you! It's that simple.... Think once, twice, three times YAMMIT! Scouts honor... It works... ;) </div><div><br /></div><div>4. This is not the Truman Show---->The world does not revolve around you... Get this.... Learn this... Understand this.... </div><div><br /></div><div>Now you're probably wondering why the hell I have decided to write this after all of this time..?</div><div><br /></div><div>Shooooot....</div><div><br /></div><div>I dunno...</div><div><br /></div><div>I guess this is me paying it forward...</div><div><br /></div><div>So good luck and God bless...</div><div><br /></div><div>Goodbye!</div><div><br /></div><div>;)</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-4966084241401871423?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-49982503493970600272010-03-25T21:34:00.000-07:002010-03-25T21:53:43.978-07:00In exactly 10 days... <div><br /></div><div>It will be exactly one year since I had my insides completely ripped out of me...</div><div><br /></div><div>As of late it seems...</div><div><br /></div><div>Every television show I watch is speaking directly to me about what happened...</div><div><br /></div><div>And with every situation a character goes through... </div><div><br /></div><div>The pain they feel...</div><div><br /></div><div>The loss they endure...</div><div><br /></div><div>I feel it too...</div><div><br /></div><div>And every time I cry for them...</div><div><br /></div><div>I swear its like I cry for them because I can't cry for my damn self...</div><div><br /></div><div>It's like I'm devoid of any emotions or feelings for myself...</div><div><br /></div><div>But what exactly can I expect?</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm mourning the loss of something that never existed...</div><div><br /></div><div>So how can I feel this way or that way about something that plain and simply put never was?</div><div><br /></div><div>And as the day creeps up...</div><div><br /></div><div>I feel as if I'm losing the little bit of sense I managed to regain...</div><div><br /></div><div>Like the foundation I built is being rocked to the core...</div><div><br /></div><div>And I feel crazy for it...</div><div><br /></div><div>I buried this a long time ago...</div><div><br /></div><div>I did the right thing... </div><div><br /></div><div>I know I did...</div><div><br /></div><div>It was the only thing to do...</div><div><br /></div><div>But if that's the truth...</div><div><br /></div><div>Why won't it stay buried?</div><div><br /></div><div>Could I have been wrong?</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-4998250349397060027?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-6665634902969968422009-08-09T21:42:00.001-07:002009-08-09T21:58:38.658-07:00Gosh... I can't keep beating myself up over this... I've taken responsibility for my actions and the role I played... But for some reason... I can't put it to rest...<p>Maybe it's because I can't understand why things had to happen the way they did... Why the bridge had to be completely burned...</p><p>But maybe that's just it....</p><p>I needed to know that I was so close...To have that taste...</p><p>To put my head where I need it to be...</p><p>I wasn't in the game before... I was just going through the motions until success snuck up on me...</p><p>But that's just it...</p><p>Success doesn't sneak up on people... It takes hard work and complete and absolute focus and dedication.... I was nowhere near focused.... I was caught up on the idea.... Just the possibilty.... Could you imagine the actual thing? I needed to know how it felt... To know that I needed to go hard so I could have that when I could handle it... </p><p>I want it all...</p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-666563490296996842?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-84619169631958741142009-07-27T23:23:00.001-07:002009-07-27T23:28:38.180-07:00Ok...<div><br /></div><div>So...</div><div><br /></div><div>Writing this book...</div><div><br /></div><div>Named it Savoir Faire...</div><div><br /></div><div>It's about...</div><div><br /></div><div>I don't know how to explain...</div><div><br /></div><div>I guess you could call it a love story...</div><div><br /></div><div>But at the same time it's not...</div><div><br /></div><div>It's based on a true story...</div><div><br /></div><div>But because I'm a little fuzzy on the details...</div><div><br /></div><div>It'll most likely be more so fiction...</div><div><br /></div><div>I love this story...</div><div><br /></div><div>But I must say...</div><div><br /></div><div>It is quite a challenge...</div><div><br /></div><div>It's literally one of the hardest stories I've ever written...</div><div><br /></div><div>Probably because it has a message...</div><div><br /></div><div>I cannot wait to have it done...</div><div><br /></div><div>Probably because it's killing me to write...</div><div><br /></div><div>l0l</div><div><br /></div><div>And for the record...</div><div><br /></div><div>I mean no harm...</div><div><br /></div><div>I just have to tell the world...</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-8461916963195874114?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-91711834726987313252009-06-23T22:04:00.001-07:002009-06-23T22:04:30.545-07:00Man... It&#39;s like finally escaping... But as soon as I see the fence... I fall back to where I was... I don&#39;t get this.... I just don&#39;t understand... I fought so hard for this not to happen... But it just wouldn&#39;t go away... I couldn&#39;t get away.... This situation is impossible... Ah! I just want to scream... I&#39;m running out of options... And my heart can only take so much...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-9171183472698731325?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-52923489757597762152009-05-08T21:17:00.000-07:002009-05-08T21:42:59.735-07:00Point blank... <div><br /></div><div>I am tired...<div><br /></div><div>I am hurt...</div><div><br /></div><div>And I am basically broken...</div><div><br /></div><div>I don't think I've ever taken this many hits at one time...</div><div><br /></div><div>I think everything has finally caught up to me...</div><div><br /></div><div>I was so steady playing roles and just plain old being who they wanted me to be that I lost my mind...</div><div><br /></div><div>And now the consequences of my actions and my pure recklessness are kicking my ass now...</div><div><br /></div><div>I know that I was wrong...</div><div><br /></div><div>I knew that I was wrong then too...</div><div><br /></div><div>I know saw the cliff and my ass walked right off...</div><div><br /></div><div>But I'm still here...</div><div><br /></div><div>With bruises, scratches, and broken bones...<br /></div><div><br /></div><div>The fall didn't kill me...</div><div><br /></div><div>And what doesn't kill me can only make me stronger...</div><div><br /></div><div>And even though I'm hurting now...</div><div><br /></div><div>I enter tomorrow with more strength and smarts than I had before...</div><div><br /></div><div>Really I can't say this enough...</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm sorry to all of those I hurt on my way over the edge...</div><div><br /></div><div>I hope you guys can find comfort in the FACT that I am a changed person...</div><div><br /></div><div>People say that true change is never an overnight thing...</div><div><br /></div><div>And it's true...</div><div><br /></div><div>Changing is a truly difficult thing to do...</div><div><br /></div><div>But everyday more progress is made in my rehabilitation...</div><div><br /></div><div>I know that somedays will be harder than others...</div><div><br /></div><div>But the goal is clear...</div><div><br /></div><div>I never ever want to fall over the edge again...</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-5292348975759776215?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-85345934398413253852009-04-25T17:07:00.001-07:002009-04-25T17:07:49.043-07:00As history repeats itself... The mistakes of yesterday become much more clear... In my heart... I don&#39;t think I can handle this again... And I&#39;m not sure if I can just let God and let go... My heart is broken... But I don&#39;t think it&#39;s for the right reasons... I&#39;m morning the loss of an idea... And not the reality...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-8534593439841325385?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-73810866295702297592009-04-19T19:04:00.001-07:002009-04-19T19:05:10.544-07:00So...<p>Lemme drop some quick useful knowledge on you...</p><p>Go with your gut...</p><p>And you'll NEVER be wrong...</p><p>It is that simple...</p><p>duble0...</p><p>Over and out...</p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-7381086629570229759?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-4065071017967048762009-04-11T23:26:00.000-07:002009-04-11T23:40:49.173-07:00Those who say they are surprised by the downfall of others are either completely oblivious to life... <div><br /></div><div>Or lying to themselves...</div><div><br /></div><div>There is no way in my opinion to not feel the ground cracking...</div><div><br /></div><div>It's like being hit by a car and not feeling it...</div><div><br /></div><div>It's just not possible...</div><div><br /></div><div>I think what surprises people is how perfectly each piece of the puzzle falls into place upon destruction...</div><div><br /></div><div>I think it's the realization that the car has hit the wall that gets them...</div><div><br /></div><div>And then chaos is inevitable...</div><div><br /></div><div>So what to do...</div><div><br /></div><div>I honestly don't know... </div><div><br /></div><div>I guess you hope for the best but prepare for the worst...</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-406507101796704876?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-66762276836704600142009-04-08T21:44:00.000-07:002009-04-08T22:00:20.762-07:00I think last month was a testament to the fact that karma is a bitch and she will get your ass... l0l<div><br /></div><div>The situation was...</div><div><br /></div><div>I was doing what felt good vs. what I knew was right...</div><div><br /></div><div>I knew what I was doing was wrong...</div><div><br /></div><div>And I was just as Joseph Campbell would say : "Following my bliss."</div><div><br /></div><div>And sure I was feeling real good...</div><div><br /></div><div>But I have to admit...</div><div><br /></div><div>Not a damn thing felt right...</div><div><br /></div><div>Not even a little bit...</div><div><br /></div><div>And that good feeling was only temporary...</div><div><br /></div><div>So in the long run following my bliss got me no where...</div><div><br /></div><div>I think I finally got that now...</div><div><br /></div><div>Doing what feels good in the moment when you know good and damn well that down the line shit IS going to hit the fan...</div><div><br /></div><div>It's just plain and simply put...</div><div><br /></div><div>STUPID AND RECKLESS!!!</div><div><br /></div><div>I've said this before...</div><div><br /></div><div>But I never really understood exactly what that meant until now...</div><div><br /></div><div>I never actually paid any attention to it because I didn't want to...</div><div><br /></div><div>But now when you have a month like last month...</div><div><br /></div><div>You start to stop and take notice...</div><div><br /></div><div>So now...</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm going to say to hell with what feels good...</div><div><br /></div><div>And hello to what I know is right...</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-6676227683670460014?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-15417027148526094622009-04-01T11:47:00.000-07:002009-04-01T12:05:46.523-07:00So I was at work today... <div><br /></div><div>And I overheard a co-worker talking about his four year old granddaughter who had planted a lima bean in her class...</div><div><br /></div><div>Immediately I remembered back to when I was in kindergarten and I had done the same project...</div><div><br /></div><div>I remember everyday I would run over to my lima bean...</div><div><br /></div><div>And I would just look at it...</div><div><br /></div><div>And for a while I didn't see anything but dirt...</div><div><br /></div><div>And I remember thinking that maybe I had done something wrong...</div><div><br /></div><div>So I told my mom I was done and that I wanted to give up...</div><div><br /></div><div>She told me that I needed to be patient and wait for my little bean to grow...</div><div><br /></div><div>So I continued to water my bean...</div><div><br /></div><div>Finally one day I saw a little stem popping out from the dirt... </div><div><br /></div><div>And I was ecstatic...</div><div><br /></div><div>My bean had grown...</div><div><br /></div><div>I had done nothing but what I could do for the bean...</div><div><br /></div><div>I just needed to be patient with it...</div><div><br /></div><div>I couldn't make it the bean do what I wanted to do in my own time... </div><div><br /></div><div>I had to be patient and be there to help it grow....</div><div><br /></div>"All things come to him who waits - provided he knows what he is waiting for."<div>- Woodrow T. Wilson</div><div><br /></div><div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-1541702714852609462?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-13039530657209120102009-03-30T21:03:00.001-07:002009-03-30T21:52:22.676-07:00Attention Ladies!!!<div><br /></div><div>Recently it has come to my attention that females that I know of have been not using their brains...</div><div><br /></div><div>I guess in their quest for "love" they have been failing to realize when they are being played...</div><div><br /></div><div>I can't seem to understand it myself...</div><div><br /></div><div>I mean don't we have all as females have that thing called "intuition" built into us?</div><div><br /></div><div>I mean isn't it there to warn us when things ain't right!?!?</div><div><br /></div><div>So then why do we ignore what is already known to be true?</div><div><br /></div><div>How is it that certain females can allow themselves to be an option to someone who they are making a priority?</div><div><br /></div><div>I mean you have to know that dude IS talking shit about you behind your back... </div><div><br /></div><div>And plain and simply disrespecting you on the regular and putting you on blast for being desperate?!?!</div><div><br /></div><div>How can you not know?</div><div><br /></div><div>What the f*ck?!?!</div><div><br /></div><div>I mean... </div><div><br /></div><div>How can that even feel right? </div><div><br /></div><div>Is the comfort of knowing you have someone... ANYONE... really that great?</div><div><br /></div><div>No... </div><div><br /></div><div>Not even a little bit...</div><div><br /></div><div>So to all you females who CLAIM to be UNAWARE of being one of the aforementioned...</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm going to break it down for you right now...</div><div><br /></div><div>If you find yourself calling dude to hang out excessively while his phone calls to you are little or non-existent... HE NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR MIND</div><div><br /></div><div>If when dude calls you, it is after 10 o'clock and you f*ck... CONGRATULATIONS YOU ARE OFFICIALLY A BOOTY CALL</div><div><br /></div><div>If the majority of the time you spend with dude, alcohol or weed are present... YOU'RE ONLY ENTERTAINING WHEN HE'S UNDER THE INFLUENCE</div><div><br /></div><div>If when you are with dude, he's all over you, and then SUDDENLY when another female approaches and he completely flips the script with you, acting like your shit on his shoe... HE DOES NOT WANT SAID FEMALE TO KNOW ABOUT HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU THEREFORE IMPLICATING THAT YOU'RE NOT THE IMPORTANT ONE </div><div><br /></div><div>If any of the things above apply to you...</div><div><br /></div><div>YOU ARE ALLOWING YOURSELF TO BE PLAYED!!!!</div><div><br /></div><div>And please don't try to fight me on this one...</div><div><br /></div><div>TRUTH HURTS!!!!!</div><div><br /></div><div>I am not saying this to be an asshole... Actually I'm doing quite the opposite... I'm trying to give you the wake up call your friends are too damn dumb to give you because I actually care! It's just not a good look...</div><div><br /></div><div>I know in your mind you probably saying "well I'm only using him for sex anyways."</div><div><br /></div><div>Okay then tell me this...</div><div><br /></div><div>When you see him with another female... Does it bother you??? Do you automatically start judging the other female??? Do you call her things like "bitch" or "hoe"???</div><div><br /></div><div>Or my favorite... "Well I had him last night." </div><div><br /></div><div>If you said no to either...</div><div><br /></div><div>What the f*ck I look like???? You know you do!!! </div><div><br /></div><div>Are you not aware of what you're saying?!?! Does it really make you feel better to tear somebody else down to build yourself up?!?! That girl ain't did shit to you... You need to go after dude or let him go if his actions are leading you to be someone so ugly...</div><div><br /></div><div>No... Because at the end of the day... You may be the one that he's with... Don't mean you're the one he wants...</div><div><br /></div><div>So... If you or anybody else you know is degrading themselves for some dude that's feelings are manufactured instead of natural... Please get them to read this!!!! </div><div><br /></div><div>I wrote this because I thought it was my responsiblity as a female who's eyes are open... And am sick and tired of seeing females so disrespected... I do this out of love...</div><div><br /></div><div>So next time you in the club with your dude... And his attention goes towards another female... Let your attention go towards another male... PERMANENTLY!!!</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-1303953065720912010?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-10435639974580573052009-03-29T10:03:00.000-07:002009-03-29T10:11:25.463-07:00It's inevitable...<div><br /></div><div>Nothing lasts forever...</div><div><br /></div><div>I know this...</div><div><br /></div><div>So why am I holding on to something that has to be done for now?</div><div><br /></div><div>I mean why do any of us do it? </div><div><br /></div><div>We know that we can't stop the ticking time clock and yet at the same time we do everything in our power to change what is fated...</div><div><br /></div><div>What is that?</div><div><br /></div><div>The only battle in life that is always a losing one is one fought against fate...</div><div><br /></div><div>It's the fear of what is approaching and our attempts to change it that inevitably feuls what is fated...</div><div><br /></div><div>So in the end...</div><div><br /></div><div>Fighting it does nothing...</div><div><br /></div><div>And accepting it is all that is left to do...</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-1043563997458057305?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-35179982935029399572009-02-25T14:50:00.000-08:002009-02-25T14:51:17.881-08:00Feelings are inevitable...<div><br /></div><div>Learn to live with them...</div><div><br /></div><div>Because true story...</div><div><br /></div><div>You can't live without them...</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-3517998293502939957?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-50837113092406151602009-02-22T19:31:00.000-08:002009-02-22T19:39:49.749-08:00I just don't get people...<div><br /></div><div>It's kind of disgusting...</div><div><br /></div><div>How someone can look right at you and lie....?</div><div><br /></div><div>Wtf?!?!</div><div><br /></div><div>Really though...</div><div><br /></div><div>I ain't even twisted about it...</div><div><br /></div><div>But really though...</div><div><br /></div><div>It's true knowledge is pain...</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-5083711309240615160?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-82977657731073404742009-02-16T15:49:00.001-08:002009-02-16T16:08:45.284-08:00So...<div><br /></div><div>I was minding my business...</div><div><br /></div><div>Downloading free music...</div><div><br /></div><div>Not pirating for once...</div><div><br /></div><div>So I open the file...</div><div><br /></div><div>I read...</div><div><br /></div><div>A Night Off - Drake (Yes Jimmy from Degrassi!!! l0l) feat. Lloyd...</div><div><br /></div><div>So I listen...</div><div><br /></div><div>And it was all over...</div><div><br /></div><div>But then to make matters worse...</div><div><br /></div><div>Because I just wanted to see what would happen if i listened to the song with headphones...</div><div><br /></div><div>You know...</div><div><br /></div><div>Without any outside interruptions...</div><div><br /></div><div>Wow...</div><div><br /></div><div>That was a very very very bad idea...</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre;font-family:Arial;font-size:11px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: Arial; font-size: 48px; white-space: pre;"><br /></span></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-8297765773107340474?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-40372334739578050022009-02-14T22:14:00.000-08:002009-02-14T22:22:21.192-08:00I'm so0o0oooo0o effin excited...<div><br /></div><div>Just at the possibilities life is throwing my way...</div><div><br /></div><div>I don't know...</div><div><br /></div><div>I mean...</div><div><br /></div><div>I just can't imagine that I could have another year of bullshit...</div><div><br /></div><div>Really though...</div><div><br /></div><div>Things have just been so blah for the past few years...</div><div><br /></div><div>I mean really...</div><div><br /></div><div>Nothing has really gone right for me...</div><div><br /></div><div>And damn it...</div><div><br /></div><div>I am not going to have another shit year...</div><div><br /></div><div>So...</div><div><br /></div><div>Real talk...</div><div><br /></div><div>This year...</div><div><br /></div><div>2009...</div><div><br /></div><div>I will have a great year...</div><div><br /></div><div>None of the regular drama...</div><div><br /></div><div>None of the bullshit...</div><div><br /></div><div>This year is going to be the shit no matter what!!!</div><div><br /></div><div>And you want to know why!!!</div><div><br /></div><div>Because I effin said so!!!!</div><div><br /></div><div>Right now... I'm on cloud nine just at all the possibilities that life has to bring to me... And ain't nothing going to wreck that for me! </div><div><br /></div><div>Nader damn thing...</div><div><br /></div><div>LMFAO!!!!</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-4037233473957805002?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-15592934360941020142009-02-11T20:30:00.001-08:002009-02-11T20:54:18.825-08:00It's amazing how life works... I mean one minute things are just fine and dandy... And all around just plain old peachy... And all it takes is one event to change it all...<div><br /></div><div>So I was in a hit and run on Sunday... And I'm a little beat up... But I'm alive... Right now I'm just thinking that it could have been a whole lot worse... I mean I watched the car coming at me and even though you would think it was terrifying... Amazingly enough... The thoughts that went through my mind were far from that... I really don't know how to explain it... But I didn't see my life flash before my eyes... Or feel as if I was done for... It was more like a feeling of this is far from over... It was all too ironic... And I was oddly calm about it... I mean don't get me wrong... I was mad as hell the bitch drove off... And did snap into beast mode and caught up to her ass... </div><div><br /></div><div>But I really think it was meant to happen... It was a wake up call... Not meant for me... But for those around me... I mean... Considering when and where it happened... My accident served as a wake up call for somebody around me... Hopefully they got the message...</div><div><br /></div><div>Tomorrow's not promised to anyone... Say what you need to say today... So you don't regret what you didn't get the chance to say tomorrow...</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm glad I did what I did... And now I can let it all go... And let the past be the past... So I can live for the future...</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-1559293436094102014?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-13204880143111212112009-02-02T22:21:00.000-08:002009-02-02T22:28:54.893-08:00<div>It's funny because I week ago... I couldn't sleep... I was anxious... Irritable... Confused... And I couldn't focus to save my life... I mean I was a serious mess... Everything I was doing was just going through the motions... Because I didn't know what exactly I should do... For the simple fact that I had no idea what I was really feeling about anything... So when I got to my boiling point... I had to do something... So I did... At first I must say I deeply regretted what I did... But as time went on... And I could finally think... It made things so much clearer... And I'm relieved... No more bitchassness... I'm done...</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-1320488014311121211?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-78364325948635991162009-02-01T18:54:00.000-08:002009-02-01T19:17:20.500-08:00It's funny the things that people do for no reason at all...<div><br /></div><div>Because in the moment it feels good...</div><div><br /></div><div>And makes them happy...</div><div><br /></div><div>I just can't understand how anyone can do something to somebody so horrible for the shear pleasure of it? </div><div><br /></div><div>I mean... </div><div><br /></div><div>How can torture be gratifying? </div><div><br /></div><div>How can humiliation be entertaining?</div><div><br /></div><div>How can someone elses pain bring someone else joy?</div><div><br /></div><div>Of all the things I've done in my life... Either out of jealousy or spite... At the end of the day... I really could never say I was proud of any of it...</div><div><br /></div><div>I mean to know that I personally caused someone else anguish... All for fun?!? It always bothers me... To hurt someone else to fit in... It's hard to forgive myself for it... </div><div><br /></div><div>I mean really...</div><div><br /></div><div>It's amazing what you'll do to fit in... For someone's attention... For their affection... You'll betray everything you hold dear... Do things you find morally wrong... And in the end... You know that deep down inside... For that person to encourage and watch you do something so vile... With the knowledge that this is so cruel to the victim... You know that that person is someone you needed to never have allowed into your life... Because you know for sure that they truly care about nothing but themself...</div><div><br /></div><div>It's just not possible to care for one... And then not care for another... </div><div><br /></div><div>I hate everything I said... Everything I did... Everything I felt...</div><div><br /></div><div>But still I knew every step of the way... I knew what I was doing was wrong... I went against everything I knew... Against my common sense... All for the excitement of the feelings... As empty as they were... </div><div><br /></div><div>So...</div><div><br /></div><div>All I can do now is forgive...</div><div><br /></div><div>Forgive everything I did...</div><div><br /></div><div>Because it all was for the love of nothing...</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-7836432594863599116?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-60850300340972936102009-01-29T21:48:00.000-08:002009-01-29T21:49:47.381-08:00You ever noticed how what somebody else wants will quickly become something that you want... And possibly something you never even had in your mind???<div><br /></div><div>Just a thought...</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-6085030034097293610?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-78668486951846822812009-01-26T22:30:00.000-08:002009-01-26T22:32:39.306-08:00I opened it...<div><br /></div><div>Now to get it closed...</div><div><br /></div><div>Real talk...</div><div><br /></div><div>I wish I knew what to do...</div><div><br /></div><div>But I have no idea...</div><div><br /></div><div>UGH!!!!</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-7866848695184682281?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-48582507009852599312009-01-26T09:38:00.000-08:002009-01-26T09:47:54.367-08:00I know it's a little harsh...<div><br /></div><div>But I must say...</div><div><br /></div><div>It's so danm true...</div><div><br /></div><div>The smarter you are... The harder it is for you to find love... Just for the plain and simple fact that when you're smart... You think too much... Dumb people don't think that much... And in turn just go with what they're feeling... A smart person will sit and analysis what they're thinking... And in turn block out what they're feeling... Just because they want to be sure that everything lines up... And because they do that... They are constantly confused... And just give up on the whole thing... They literally shut down until there is no more...</div><div><br /></div><div>I hate being so smart!!! UGH!! It's a burden... Truly... And I personally am in the shutting down phase... I don't want to be... But I am... </div><div><br /></div><div>Better luck next time...</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-4858250700985259931?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-77159776248318924122009-01-24T23:29:00.000-08:002009-01-24T23:43:26.099-08:00Right now my mind is all over the place... <div><br /></div><div>So I'm going to do my best to get this out now...</div><div><br /></div><div>Because it's raw...</div><div><br /></div><div>And the most honest I think I can ever be...</div><div><br /></div><div>In all honesty... I haven't talked to Robbie in over a year... So I can't really say we were that close... But my senior year of high school we had 2 classes together... (Neither of which we were quite fond of... and would skip on occasion) He was my co-anchor on the morning announcements... And I wouldn't have had it any other way... Robbie was one of those smart talented jocks that you wanted to hate... But couldn't help but love... He was just an all around great person... And in reality he will truly be missed by me... And I am frankly distraught over the news of his passing... I really just don't know what to think.... I mean in my head right now... I feel so bad for him... His family... And all his really close friends... But at the same time... I can't believe how someone so smart could something so idiotic! It blows my mind that he died by driving drunk... Something so ridiculous to me... And I thank god that no one else was a victim of his recklessness... It's crazy to me how people can even take the risk... And he was so young... I just can't seem to get my mind to focus on one emotion... One second I'm sad that he's gone... And then the next I'm pissed that he let this happen!! UGH!!! I always knew Robbie was the life of the party... But I never thought it would come to this...</div><div><br /></div><div>So with that said... I just want to say... It's okay to live your life to the fullest... And party... And have a grand old time... But to do so recklessly... And at risk to others... I mean is it really worth a life?</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm so sorry Robbie that you were the chosen one... And I hope that you didn't die in vain... </div><div><br /></div><div>RIP Robbie... You'll always be my favorite co-anchor...</div><div><img id="userImage" onload="FixImage();" src="http://c2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/7/l_e515fdb8a01945ef81566329fac74861.jpg" /><br /></div><div>"Signing off"</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-7715977624831892412?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-22447983532186936312009-01-24T21:16:00.000-08:002009-01-24T21:18:57.154-08:00I'm not in the right mind set for this right now...<br /><br />I got so much in my head right now...<br /><br />And I'm not sure what exactly I want to say...<br /><br />I'm way too angry/upset/sad/shocked/confused to make any sense...<br /><br />So...<br /><br />To be continued...<a id="ctl00_ctl00_cpMain_cpMain_ViewImageControl_ucImageView_PhotoNoter1_hypImageNext" href="http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&amp;friendID=2309583&amp;albumID=562873&amp;imageID=55301001#a=562873&amp;i=2324494"></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-2244798353218693631?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-85310247347380854892009-01-22T16:52:00.000-08:002009-01-22T17:01:31.933-08:00You know that old saying...<div><br /></div><div>"If you can't beat them... Join them."</div><div><br /></div><div>Well as I finally completed A Raisin in the Sun... It became pretty clear that that is the worst advice ever!!!!</div><div><br /></div><div>Seriously though... How can you be your own person if you follow that idea? Then you would just be like them... And who really wants to be like them?!?! </div><div><br /></div><div>Um... No one...</div><div><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-8531024734738085489?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-83877406072703398672009-01-20T11:24:00.001-08:002009-01-20T11:25:49.494-08:00I just realized that I am still trying to be the Little Mermaid... Man... You would think after oh uh....  17yrs that would fade... Well I guess not... l0l... <div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">I STILL WANNA BE ARIEL!!!!</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 24px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 24px;">l0l</span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-8387740607270339867?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-12936491219006905322009-01-20T10:07:00.000-08:002009-01-20T10:11:36.870-08:00<img style="-webkit-user-select: none" src="http://datelinebucharest.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/barack-obama-bw1.png" /><div><br /></div><div>True change we can believe in!!!!</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-1293649121900690532?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-15575138955302203432009-01-18T17:00:00.000-08:002009-04-20T22:05:08.203-07:00Man... <div><br /></div><div>I must say I really can't stand to kick someone when they're down...</div><div><br /></div><div>And to do so unintentionally...</div><div><br /></div><div>Because of someone else's malinntent...</div><div><br /></div><div>I feel so horrible...</div><div><br /></div><div>Mostly because I deal with this person on almost a daily business...</div><div><br /></div><div>Why?</div><div><br /></div><div>My thing is... </div><div><br /></div><div>I can't understand how someone can just let you do something so wrong on like a billion different levels?!?! How much of an bitchass person do you have to be to let someone else do your bidding?!? Ugh!!</div><div><br /></div><div>Damn and I walked right into this!!!</div><div><br /></div><div>So I guess the lesson is...</div><div><br /></div><div>Do not be cool with anyone who point blank says they don't care about people...</div><div><br /></div><div>It's just not smart...</div><div><br /></div><div>So now...</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm going to go with my brain instead of these atrocious feelings... </div><div><br /></div><div>And I'm peacing out! </div><div><br /></div><div>l0l</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm walking right the hell out!!</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-1557513895530220343?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-39499630913109648002009-01-10T18:44:00.000-08:002009-01-10T18:57:54.098-08:00OK... <div><br /></div><div>So... I was recently blessed with some information... That unfortunately was not good...</div><div><br /></div><div>Really... It's quite disappointing... Especially because it's just another thing added to a list of negatives... </div><div><br /></div><div>I can't say it's surprising... Because really it's just not...</div><div><br /></div><div>I can't understand why people do things that are so... Just so trifling... I mean really... What is there to gain? And really... Can you ever say you got away with it?</div><div><br /></div><div>I realize that sometimes people do things they don't mean to do... But then sometimes... They are aware of everything they're doing... So why?</div><div><br /></div><div>Why just not be straight with someone? </div><div><br /></div><div>What is it? Are they trying to spare someone's feelings? Or are they just trying to save face? </div><div><br /></div><div>To be truthfully honest... I wish this shit had come out a long time ago... But it's okay... It's out... And that's all that matters...</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-3949963091310964800?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-74652751644642963712009-01-07T17:39:00.001-08:002009-01-07T17:49:43.378-08:00So... About 3 yrs ago... I stole a book from a friend of mine out of shear boredom... The book just so happened to be "He's Just Not That Into You" by Greg Brehendt and some lady I think named Lisa...<br /><br />Well anywho... I must say that book was the funniest... And most educational book I ever read... I mean really... Eventhough most of it is common sense... For all this information to come straight from a dude so blatantly... I was like wow... It's safe to say... That I can no longer bullshit myself... When all the answers I sought were in this book... I mean really after I read that book... I knew I would never allow myself to fall for the same bullshit....<br /><br />Fast forward 3 yrs... And I had completely forgotten everything I learned...<br /><br />So with the pending movie release based on this book... All the knowledge that I assertained 3 yrs ago has finally come back to me...<br /><br />And I can say for certain today...<br /><br />He's just not that into me... l0l<br /><br />What are you gonna do?!?! l0l<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-7465275164464296371?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-32366164842865016472009-01-06T22:02:00.000-08:002009-01-06T22:17:12.394-08:00Okay so I understand that it's in our nature as human beings to have someone... For the simple fact that we don't do well alone... (Example: Britney Spears) <div><br /></div><div>But really... Must we settle for crappy ass people...?</div><div><br /></div><div>I mean... Is being alone so bad that we will knowingly get with someone or hang around someone who is the epitomy of a shithead... And allow them to make us the fool?!?!?</div><div><br /></div><div>Seriously though... We will straight up ignore signs that someone is not genuine and is knowingly messing with our emotions... And believe the act that they are innocent... </div><div><br /></div><div>I mean I can't imagine that if someone is causing you pain... Or making you feel uncomfortable... That they have no clue that they are doing so... I just refuse to plain and simple...</div><div><br /></div><div>Why is it so hard for us to say what we feel and risk losing the shithead who's causing you grief?Why is it so easy for us to settle for mistreatment by someone who claims to care about you? </div><div><br /></div><div>I just don't get it.... </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-3236616484286501647?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-29515467238376272062008-12-30T20:53:00.001-08:002008-12-30T21:06:10.179-08:00I think the problem with us as a soceity is we're so busy trying to cordial and polite... and trying to be plain old nice to people that we forget that silence isn't a nice thing... I mean really... Hinting around the truth will cause more damage than its worth... And not telling the truth to spare ones feelings is cruel and just plain irresponsible in my opinion... I mean really... I don't endorse being rude when telling someone what's up... But I do believe at some point you have to be real and put it out there... Let's get past all that bullshit of trying to save someone's feelings and just be real!!! <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-2951546723837627206?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-33440352182217648282008-12-27T19:11:00.000-08:002008-12-27T19:23:00.506-08:00Boredom will make you do a lot of things...<div><br /></div><div>For the simple fact that you're bored and your imagination runs wild...</div><div><br /></div><div>And for some reason common sense goes on vacation...</div><div><br /></div><div>Then you're left with an overactive imagination... </div><div><br /></div><div>And nothing to stop the stupid ideas...</div><div><br /></div><div>So... You see what had happened was... Everybody went out of town... And because when I'm bored... I become one of those people who over analyzes a situation... And then of course my mind went into overdrive... Common sense hit the road... And I started thinking all kinds of crazy things... And with nothing to stop me... I kind of got ahead of myself... And somewhat fell back into the same sinking boat that I was in before...</div><div><br /></div><div>Man... This is some bullshit... I need to go somewhere too!!! l0l</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-3344035218221764828?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-91403645819731973212008-12-26T20:00:00.000-08:002008-12-26T20:04:52.248-08:00So recently I been struggling with somethings...<div><br /></div><div>I mean I have been going back and forward between liking someone...</div><div><br /></div><div>And not liking someone...</div><div><br /></div><div>It's really weird... </div><div><br /></div><div>I mean really when the feelings are gone...</div><div><br /></div><div>Is it still possible to like the person?</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-9140364581973197321?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-91624767366420114382008-12-17T20:53:00.000-08:002008-12-17T21:11:39.516-08:00So... Enough about me...<div><br /></div><div>Really guys...</div><div><br /></div><div>I am so disappointed in music!!!</div><div><br /></div><div>It's so damn boring... I mean really... No bangers... No NOTHING!</div><div><br /></div><div>I mean damn... We got enough slow jams... Can I get a damn banger!!!</div><div><br /></div><div>Lloyd where you at?!?!? l0l</div><div><br /></div><div>But anytwho... While on a quest to find new music...</div><div><br /></div><div>I came across a song by Sammie called "One Way Street"...</div><div><br /></div><div>No it's not a banger...</div><div><br /></div><div>But I like it... </div><div><br /></div><div>And even though that somewhat sated me...</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm still searching... </div><div><br /></div><div>SOMEBODY HELP ME PLEASE! L0L</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-9162476736642011438?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-84366735236139087352008-12-15T19:06:00.000-08:002008-12-15T19:36:22.308-08:00As of late... I've found myself being somewhat two-faced... (I mean I like the person and all... But just something just ain't right...) And in doing so... I've been trying to cover up my ill feelings towards a person by being super nice... And just trying too hard to be the best friend I can be... Well... <div><br /></div><div>It's not working... I mean... This person has done nothing to me personally... But the things this person says about others... And some actions that have taken place... (Actions I'm not supposed to know about... Some people are really open about there lives... l0l) So basically I'm trapped on a fence... On one side... I got "Man this person is really cool peoples"... and on the other... "I'm like damn this person is truely TRIFLIN'!!!" l0l... Ugh... Man... I wonder if this person even as a clue as to all I know... And still I talk to them!!! l0l But really though... I don't see myself doing this for much longer... Especially for a person I only see on occasion... I mean... All that's going on is way to much... And how the hell am I, knowing all that I know, going to expect any different? What makes me so special? </div><div><br /></div><div>Hmm.... Nader... Nader a damn thing... l0l... Man... If I didn't have to see this person on occasion... I most likely would have dipped when things first presented themselves as fishy... But because I do... I feel as if I have to continue like I know nothing... Grr... So...</div><div><br /></div><div>To be Continued...</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-8436673523613908735?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-15106633140561170632008-12-15T18:04:00.000-08:002008-12-15T18:06:57.422-08:00So... <div><br /></div><div>Schools out...</div><div><br /></div><div>About to depart from CC to University...</div><div><br /></div><div>Hmm...</div><div><br /></div><div>Funny how I went from a University to a CC and now back to a University... l0l</div><div><br /></div><div>I know... </div><div><br /></div><div>I'm backwards...</div><div><br /></div><div>It happens...</div><div><br /></div><div>I really have nothing to talk about as of right now...</div><div><br /></div><div>Stay tuned... </div><div><br /></div><div>I have a feeling things will come... l0l</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-1510663314056117063?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-14212224050288957792008-12-09T11:39:00.000-08:002008-12-09T11:45:05.696-08:00I don't know what it is... But this last week I've been feeling so at ease... And nothing can shake it... I mean literally... Things that would have bothered me a month ago... Don't... And now... I just feel fricking great!!!! l0l... <div><br /></div><div>I love where I'm at... And it's a great feeling...</div><div><br /></div><div>I just thought I'd share that with you... l0l</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-1421222405028895779?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-38885854137763782842008-12-07T18:53:00.000-08:002008-12-07T18:56:16.402-08:00I said in a previous blog that I wasn't a "fighter"... And I think I might have to explain what I mean... When i say I'm not a "fighter" I really mean... I'm not the type to start a problem... But I'll be damned if I'm not the one to finish it... So... To all those who think I will not speak up when provoked... Let me tell you... I will... <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-3888585413776378284?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-64134223023326621312008-12-04T21:07:00.000-08:002008-12-04T21:09:46.474-08:00<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:LucidaGrande">"One: Lust is physical; love is emotional. You must know the difference. Two: I’ve learned that you have to take time to know yourself, to understand yourself and help put into perspective what you’re looking for before just jumping into something crazy. But then again I’ve also learned love has no limits, it can’t be defined by any words, or any definitions. Sometimes when you just jump into it, hey, it’s more exciting."</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: LucidaGrande; font-size: 15px;">-The Love of My Young Life.. l0l..Lloyd</span></p> <!--EndFragment--><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-6413422302332662131?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-45008664181242602742008-12-04T21:03:00.000-08:002008-12-04T21:04:49.191-08:00"Troubles like a cancer. You got get it early before it get to big and kills you."<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-4500866418124260274?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-25027037942347726162008-12-02T20:32:00.000-08:002008-12-02T20:49:18.524-08:00I can't even say I've never felt this ripped before... What is this???? Ahh... #4... I'm going to go ahead and put it all out there... <div><br /></div><div>The first time was when I realized that the amount of time you knew somebody didn't mean shit when it came to popularity... (Yes Lauren... I'm talking about you) She was so caught up in fitting in... She forgot who her real friends were... She forgot who she was... And became someone completely opposite of the person I knew for years... Now number 2... Was priceless... This time I found out my friend wasn't my friend (Shout out to you Lashay)... Homegirls boyfriend straight up told me to ask girl if she liked me... I decided against it... And just let it go... Now number 3... I don't think I ever got that knife out my back.. And I can straight up blame my complete change in character on him (Of course this is you Avery)... Man... I thought he was my dude... I mean... I never in my life would have expected him to so blatantly stab me in the back... That I won't go into details about... Now number 4... I can't even afford to mention... It's to fresh... And I still got to deal with it... <div><br /></div><div>I don't even know what to say... All I got is... I'm ripped... Damn it... I'm ripped...</div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-2502703794234772616?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-52941263302612266892008-12-02T19:33:00.000-08:002008-12-02T20:30:55.595-08:00Days after the fact... I realized that I have crossed into dangerous territory... I know if I really wanted to go back... I could... But at the same time... I can't... Simply because... I don't want to... I'm not going to keep my mouth shut... I'm not going to pretend anymore that I have a greater grasp on a situation where I know I simply have no clue... I'm not going back to thinking damn... <div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>What are you saying to me? </div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>Why do I feel like I'm missing something?</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>Why do I need to watch what I say when I'm talking to you?<br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Man... YOU wonder why females are falling all over themselves to get to YOU? Why for some reason they keep throwing themselves at YOU even when YOU say YOU made it clear there ain't shit popping off? It's because YOU keep throwing out false hopes to them... YOU had to have known...</div><div><br /></div><div>Real talk... YOU must think I'm on some other level of stupid because I can't even begin to believe that YOU have no idea what YOU're doing... Come on now... YOU're an adult... YOU been around the block... I just can't believe that YOU don't know what's going on... There's just no way... I can't even believe I let you fall into the victim role... Thinking "well maybe"... Maybe my damn ass! It's just not possible...</div><div><br /></div><div>(If I did something that bothered you... You should have just said something... I don't read minds... I can't tell what's going on just by looking at you... For you to just not address that there is a problem with me... But then run your mouth to someone else... That's some bitchassness right there...)</div><div><br /></div><div>I thought we were cool peoples... Damn... I am so disappointed... And real talk... I'm hurt... I was routing for YOU too... I gave you the benefit of the doubt... And I saw YOU as the Nice Guy YOU yourself claimed to be... My dude... I know you knew... You had to have known... Damn... YOU played me pimpin... But really... I can't say I'm surprised... </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-5294126330261226689?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-76977050464091802662008-11-30T20:20:00.000-08:002008-12-01T20:43:59.541-08:00Okay... So I realize that I am having way too much fun with this whole blog thing... But I mean damn! Speaking my mind... With no interruptions... It's just great! l0l...<div><br /></div><div>S0 moving along...</div><div><br /></div><div>I been thinking a lot lately... Really taking a good look at myself... And others... And just basically asking myself questions... And the one that really stood out to me was... </div><div><br /></div><div>What is wrong with having feelings? </div><div><br /></div><div>What is so wrong with liking? Loving? Being hurt? Being scared?</div><div><br /></div><div>I never realized until today that I saw having feelings as being weak... But to actually feel and live with those feelings... You have to be strong... Strong enough to accept them... To live with them... To express them... And deal with what comes with them...</div><div><br /></div><div>As we all know... You can't control your feelings... There's no way to put them in check... No way to deny them... We can push them to the back of our minds... But eventually they surface in a way that is usually negative... And it all could have been avoided if you had just accepted them to begin with...</div><div><br /></div><div>That was and has always been my way to cope with them... To act if they weren't there... And I would fight them tooth and nail just to be perceived as strong... As invincible... But in reality... I was weak... Weak in the fact that I would rather lie about what was going on inside of my head... And act as if everything was all good... I mean for a while... You can pretend it all doesn't exist... But then... No matter how hard you try... What you feel is what you feel? No if, ands, or but's...</div><div><br /></div><div>It's funny that it's taken me almost 7 years and 4 somewhat special people to get to that brilliant conclusion... But it's hard when you have people around you faulting you for going with what you feel... Making side comments about you... Laughing about you... You just want to act as if nothings there... And pick on the people who have enough strength to acknowledge what they're feeling...</div><div><br /></div><div>And to all those people I've done that to... I'm sorry... Your feelings... Are your feelings... And who the hell am I to judge?</div><div><br /></div><div>All of this I realized last weekend... When once again... I lost control... And I finally got what I was supposed to learn... </div><div><br /></div><div>Liking... Loving... Being hurt... Being scared...</div><div><br /></div><div>All legitimate feelings...</div><div><br /></div><div>There's nothing wrong with feeling... Nothing at all... </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-7697705046409180266?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-40311958183189656182008-11-30T19:09:00.000-08:002008-11-30T19:36:15.579-08:00Man... I been reading a lot lately about people being played by the opposite sex... And the one thing I been seeing sort of a pattern in is the fact that all these people say "I never saw this coming"... And I just want to say... MY DUDE!!! YES YOU DID!!!! As much as we all try to play innocent... And act truly shocked... How can we possibly be? Especially when there are tell tale signs... Sure they may be little things... But real talk... Those little things are sure fire signs of bigger things to come... Everyone is so quick to make excuses for people... I mean really... Sometimes... We choose to ignore what every bit of common sense in our bodies is telling us... (And it's not like you can even pretend that it ain't there because you feel it all over ) So I can't seem to figure out why when someone shows their ass... We're quick to help them cover it up again... I mean really... WTF is that??? l0l... Really... So next time boys and girls... When you know damn well that somewhere down the line... Shit is going to hit the fan... Don't play and act all suprised when it do... Because you're bitchass knows you knew!!! You saw it!!! And you let it happen... Be real about it... I don't want to hear nothing... Your ass can kick rocks!!! l0l<div><div> <br /></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-4031195818318965618?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2574893754304256302.post-38137150643566391362008-11-30T09:11:00.000-08:002008-11-30T19:02:16.328-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Man... </span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Lately I've been on another level of crazy...</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Someplace nobody should ever be...</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;">The problem...</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;">Is something I've dealt with before...</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;">Well not really...</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;">Because if I had... </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;">I wouldn't be in the same bullshit again...</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;">So... </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;">I can't blame the situation anymore...</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;">When obviously it's me...</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;">Me not being honest with myself...</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;">And accepting it or whatever it is I think is going on...</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;">Or I think I want...</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;">So right now is where I come to terms with what I really want...</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;">And tell the truth...</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Real talk and Contrary to Popular Belief</span><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">I do have feelings</span>- And I like those feelings they're exciting and they make life more interesting... </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;">No one can live without feelings...</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">I do have a hear</span>t- It's just a little weaker than most...</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">I do care about peopl</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">e-</span>I care a little too much, so it's easier to just pretend I don't... </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">I don't want to be nobody's girl right now</span>- I just want to be me and not worry about no one else but me. I mean it sounds nice, but I can't do it right now. Too much on my plate.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">I don't want no bullshit- </span>I don't want people to pretend they like me when they don't. I'm not going to do that, so why the hell should you? </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;">I'm not the asshole I pretend to be- That person I've been lately. I don't really like. It makes me look stronger, but it's just not me. I'm not a fighter. I'm so non-confrontational. (So if i bring anything to your attention, it has to be serious because I don't do that.) Really I'm the nicest person you'll ever meet. Sure I may joke around and play mean, but I don't mean a word of it.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;">So... I've come to terms with who I am... And what I don't want in my life... I'm just me... And that's all I'm going to be...</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;"><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2574893754304256302-3813715064356639136?l=yesispith0tfire.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>duble0nozeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09032641937876663195noreply@blogger.com1