As history repeats itself... The mistakes of yesterday become much more clear... In my heart... I don't think I can handle this again... And I'm not sure if I can just let God and let go... My heart is broken... But I don't think it's for the right reasons... I'm morning the loss of an idea... And not the reality...

So...

Lemme drop some quick useful knowledge on you...

Go with your gut...

And you'll NEVER be wrong...

It is that simple...

duble0...

Over and out...

....?

Those who say they are surprised by the downfall of others are either completely oblivious to life... 

Or lying to themselves...

There is no way in my opinion to not feel the ground cracking...

It's like being hit by a car and not feeling it...

It's just not possible...

I think what surprises people is how perfectly each piece of the puzzle falls into place upon destruction...

I think it's the realization that the car has hit the wall that gets them...

And then chaos is inevitable...

So what to do...

I honestly don't know... 

I guess you hope for the best but prepare for the worst...

So...?

I think last month was a testament to the fact that karma is a bitch and she will get your ass... l0l

The situation was...

I was doing what felt good vs. what I knew was right...

I knew what I was doing was wrong...

And I was just as Joseph Campbell would say : "Following my bliss."

And sure I was feeling real good...

But I have to admit...

Not a damn thing felt right...

Not even a little bit...

And that good feeling was only temporary...

So in the long run following my bliss got me no where...

I think I finally got that now...

Doing what feels good in the moment when you know good and damn well that down the line shit IS going to hit the fan...

It's just plain and simply put...

STUPID AND RECKLESS!!!

I've said this before...

But I never really understood exactly what that meant until now...

I never actually paid any attention to it because I didn't want to...

But now when you have a month like last month...

You start to stop and take notice...

So now...

I'm going to say to hell with what feels good...

And hello to what I know is right...

My Lima Bean...

So I was at work today... 

And I overheard a co-worker talking about his four year old granddaughter who had planted a lima bean in her class...

Immediately I remembered back to when I was in kindergarten and I had done the same project...

I remember everyday I would run over to my lima bean...

And I would just look at it...

And for a while I didn't see anything but dirt...

And I remember thinking that maybe I had done something wrong...

So I told my mom I was done and that I wanted to give up...

She told me that I needed to be patient and wait for my little bean to grow...

So I continued to water my bean...

Finally one day I saw a little stem popping out from the dirt... 

And I was ecstatic...

My bean had grown...

I had done nothing but what I could do for the bean...

I just needed to be patient with it...

I couldn't make it the bean do what I wanted to do in my own time... 

I had to be patient and be there to help it grow....

"All things come to him who waits - provided he knows what he is waiting for."

- Woodrow T. Wilson