It will be exactly one year since I had my insides completely ripped out of me...
As of late it seems...
Every television show I watch is speaking directly to me about what happened...
And with every situation a character goes through...
The pain they feel...
The loss they endure...
I feel it too...
And every time I cry for them...
I swear its like I cry for them because I can't cry for my damn self...
It's like I'm devoid of any emotions or feelings for myself...
But what exactly can I expect?
I'm mourning the loss of something that never existed...
So how can I feel this way or that way about something that plain and simply put never was?
And as the day creeps up...
I feel as if I'm losing the little bit of sense I managed to regain...
Like the foundation I built is being rocked to the core...
And I feel crazy for it...
I buried this a long time ago...
I did the right thing...
I know I did...
It was the only thing to do...
But if that's the truth...
Why won't it stay buried?
Could I have been wrong?
