10 days

In exactly 10 days...

It will be exactly one year since I had my insides completely ripped out of me...

As of late it seems...

Every television show I watch is speaking directly to me about what happened...

And with every situation a character goes through...

The pain they feel...

The loss they endure...

I feel it too...

And every time I cry for them...

I swear its like I cry for them because I can't cry for my damn self...

It's like I'm devoid of any emotions or feelings for myself...

But what exactly can I expect?

I'm mourning the loss of something that never existed...

So how can I feel this way or that way about something that plain and simply put never was?

And as the day creeps up...

I feel as if I'm losing the little bit of sense I managed to regain...

Like the foundation I built is being rocked to the core...

And I feel crazy for it...

I buried this a long time ago...

I did the right thing...

I know I did...

It was the only thing to do...

But if that's the truth...

Why won't it stay buried?

Could I have been wrong?