Whatever it was... l0l

Gosh... I can't keep beating myself up over this... I've taken responsibility for my actions and the role I played... But for some reason... I can't put it to rest...

Maybe it's because I can't understand why things had to happen the way they did... Why the bridge had to be completely burned...

But maybe that's just it....

I needed to know that I was so close...To have that taste...

To put my head where I need it to be...

I wasn't in the game before... I was just going through the motions until success snuck up on me...

But that's just it...

Success doesn't sneak up on people... It takes hard work and complete and absolute focus and dedication.... I was nowhere near focused.... I was caught up on the idea.... Just the possibilty.... Could you imagine the actual thing? I needed to know how it felt... To know that I needed to go hard so I could have that when I could handle it...

I want it all...